The Compatibility of Kindness

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Is it my imagination or is there a general sense in the law that if we’re kind, to ourselves or anyone else, we’ll be perceived as weak? Or not just perceived, but that we’ll actually be weak?

In terms of how we treat ourselves, I hear it from my students in the form of, “I had to be hard on myself to get as far as I have.” I hear it from my colleagues, too – the supposed power of anger turned inwards.

And I’m all too familiar with it personally, but I’m not longer convinced it’s such a good idea.

I guess I’m wondering what would happen if we re-envisioned the way we relate to ourselves: less task-mastering, and a whole lot more kindness. Does just reading that seem Pollyannaish Or does it come as a relief, even if you’re not quite willing to say?