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Change: in my experience, it’s sometimes good, sometimes bad, sometimes welcome, sometimes super hard, but nearly always, out of my control.

And yet, when everything is going swimmingly, I forget that. I’m like a dog with a bone: grrrrr – don’t take this away! When everything is sideways, I forget, too. I can’t wait for things to shift, or I’m pushing for them to shift, and sometimes pushing hard. When I forget that change is nearly always out of my control, there’s this subtle (or not-so-subtle) stress.

But there’s another option: remembering. When I remember that the bone is going to disappear one way or another (not even the best bone lasts forever), that the sideways moment will right itself somehow, that everything changes and there’s usually nothing I can do about that, then, paradoxically, there’s a pause. Sometimes there’s even an “ah ha.” And in that pause, that ah ha – in that rare but delicious moment of remembering – I don’t feel so protective of the bone, or so trapped by the tilt. I can relax.

Today’s Wake Up Call is dedicated to my Dad, Lou, who died a year ago today. Yes, all things change, but missing you hasn’t changed yet, Dad. Maybe it’s one thing that never will. I hope you’re safe and at ease, wherever you are.

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